Discerning Religious Life
Saint Bernard of Clairvaux once estimated that about one out of three Catholics (~33%) have a vocation to the consecrated life. Yet today, less one in every twenty-thousand Catholics (<0.5%) are consecrated religious. These statistics, if even remotely accurate, help us to better understand the difficulty Catholics face today when discerning a religious vocation, that is; that many Catholics either do not hear the call of God, or hear but do not listen.

A Natural Desire for Marriage
We see the reason for this disparity. In terms of discernment, marriage has an immediate "advantage" over celibacy, in that it is in accord with man's natural desires (the natural calling, nb., Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II). All men and women have a deeply ingrained desire to be loved by another person and to raise a family. It is therefore easy for someone to mistakenly believe they have a vocation to marriage, when in fact they might not. This natural inclination is further exacerbated by the society in which we live, which obsesses on dating and relationships to near compulsion. The institution of marriage is often viewed as nothing more than the natural "next step" in one's life that everyone is expected to perform. In brief, discerning a religious vocation today is nothing less than difficult. It requires one to say "no" to what is natural, tangible, and before our eyes, and "yes" to a seemingly remote ideal (it should be no surprise why the Catholic Church prays for vocations with great frequency).

"The heart is deceitful"
We see then the necessity to level the playing field so to speak, by placing less emphasis on one's own feelings (Jer 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things"), and more emphasis on the counsel of Holy Mother Church. If the Church considers the married state to be a good, and the consecrated life of celibacy to be a better good (see; A Higher Calling), then out of prudence we might choose the better good by default, unless/until God reveals otherwise. Saint Ignatius exhorts us in a similar manner;

"If a person thinks of embracing a secular life, he should ask and desire more evident signs that God calls him to a secular life, than if there were question of embracing the evangelical counsels; for Our Lord Himself has evidently exhorted us to embrace His counsels."

Discernment then might be considered a test of the will, that is to say to oneself; "I love Jesus enough to sacrifice what I most deeply desire. I therefore submit myself to the direction of His Church. I do not trust in my feelings. But I choose the better way, until God reveals otherwise." This is not, however, to mean that a vocation to the religious life should be forced. Rather, it is acknowledging our predispositions and allowing the opportunity for the desires of one's heart to grow, rather than shutting the door before it ever had a chance to open. Saint Paul counsels us in the same manner; "Are you free of a wife? Then do not look for a wife. If you marry, however, you do not sin..but such people will experience affliction in their earthly life, and I would like to spare you that." - 1 Cor 7

Marriage's Ultimate Fulfillment
It is therefore necessary during one's discernment to understand that religious life is not a "giving up" of marriage. Rather, it is an elevation of marriage, beyond this world, towards its ultimate fulfillment - it is to live, here on earth, a more intimate union with heavenly reality. Instead of marrying a creature, religious marry Christ Himself, wed to the Church. Instead of raising children, religious adopt every soul as their spiritual child. Instead of devoting one's life towards the salvation of immediate family, religious devote their lives to the salvation of the world. In this way, consecrated life is everything that marriage is, but more perfectly. It redirects man's natural desire for marriage towards a higher and more perfect end; towards the mystical marriage between Christ and His Church. It is thus that the Church considers the consecrated life an act of supererogation; for those who want to become perfect (Matt. 5:48, "be therefore perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect" ).

How certain must I be?
Perhaps equally important to note is that one need not have absolute certainty of a calling to the religious life in order to have a genuine vocation. According to the Saints, it is not even necessary to have a majority of certainty (51% religious life vs. 49% married state). All that is needed to pursue a religious vocation is the slightest inkling of a desire. If there is but the smallest seed within a soul that causes the soul to consider the consecrated life, then this is enough reason to water and cultivate this seed, to see whether is takes root or not.

"To know whether God will have a person become a religious it is not to be expected that God Himself should speak, or send an angel from heaven to signify His will. It is not necessary that ten or twelve confessors should examine whether the vocation is to be followed. But it is necessary to correspond with the first movement of the inspiration, and to cultivate it, and then not to grow weary if disgust or coldness should come on. If a person acts thus, God will not fail to make all succeed to His glory. Nor ought we to care much from what quarter the first movement comes. The Lord has many ways of calling His servants."
- St. Francis De Sales

The Surest Path - Self Immolation
In a word, there is no surer way to discern a vocation than this, because it requires the greatest self immolation and self-denial for love of God. If a soul loves God enough to sacrifice what it most deeply desires (love and family), then it can be sure that God will care for its needs, and clear the path towards fulfilling His holy will, whether it be the married state, a single celibate, religious life, or Holy Orders (the greater the sacrifice, the greater the merit). In the mean time, by pursuing the higher calling to the consecrated life, a soul will begin to learn invaluable lessons that it would not have otherwise known, viz., penance and prayer -- for nowhere else on this earth is there a better training ground for prayer than in religious communities. The time spent visiting religious communities, if even a few days at a time, will be of great benefit to the soul not only in its discernment, but for its spiritual growth as well, and will provide the proper introduction into the essence of religious life; self immolation.

“Many enter religion without knowing why they do so. They come into a convent parlour, they see nuns with calm faces, full of cheerfulness modesty and content, and they say to themselves: ‘What a happy place this is! Let us come to it. The world frowns on us; we do not get what we want there.' Others come in order to find peace, consolation and all sorts of sweetness, saying in their minds: ‘How happy religious are! They have got safe away from all their home worries; from their parents continual ordering about and fault-finding -- let us enter religion.’
        These reasons are worth nothing. Let us consider whether we have sufficient courage and resolution to crucify and annihilate ourselves, or rather to permit God to do so. You must understand what it is to be a religious. It is to be bound to God by the continual mortification of ourselves, and to live only for Him. Our heart is surrendered always and wholly to His Divine Majesty; our eyes, tongue, hands and all our members serve Him continually. Look well into your heart and see if you have resolution enough to die to yourself and to live only to God. Religion is nothing else than a school of renunciation and self mortification.”
- Saint Francis De Sales

Every person has the capacity to become a Saint
Realizing that discouragement is a tool of the Enemy, we must remind ourselves that all things done for the love of God will bear abundant fruit. A soul that enters religious life can be sure that God will provide the necessary graces to fulfill its call to the highest degrees of holiness, if the soul so wills (Matt. 19:29, "every one that hath left house, brothers, sisters, father, mother, wife, children, or lands for My sake, shall receive a hundred times as much"). Indeed, the Saints tell us that every person has the capacity to become a saint. According to Saint Faustina, becoming a saint--or, loving God beyond one's capacity to love--requires nothing other than a persistent good will to do so.

"Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's actions."
- Diary of Saint Faustina, p.134

"On a certain occasion, I saw a person about to commit a mortal sin. I asked the Lord to send me the greatest torments so that that soul could be saved. Then I suddenly felt a terrible pain of a crown of thorns on my head. It lasted for quite a long time, but that person remained in the Lord's grace... O my Jesus, how very easy it is to become holy! All that is needed is a bit of good will. Jesus sees this little bit of good will in the soul, He hurries to give Himself to the soul, and nothing can stop Him, neither short comings or falls - absolutely nothing. Jesus is anxious to help that soul, and if it is faithful to this grace from God, it can very soon attain the highest holiness possible for a creature here on earth. God is very generous and does not deny His grace to anyone. Indeed He gives more than what we ask of Him."

"O God, how easy it is to know Your will in the convent! We religious have God's will set clearly before our eyes from morning till night, and in moments of uncertainty we have our superiors through whom God speaks. [...] My life is not drab or monotonous, but it varied like a garden of fragrant flowers, so that I don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of suffering, or the rose of love of neighbor, or the violet of humility"
- Diary, p. 138

This is not to say that when a person enters religious life, that they, in an instant, become a saint. On the contrary, those who receive the habit must strive doubly as hard to become humble, lest they fall into the pride of thinking themselves holy by their clothing. Just as the Saints had to grow out of certain weaknesses, so too must all men. The only difference between the Saints and us, is the Saints had the will to get up after each fall, brush the "dust" off their shoulders, and press on with firm resolution for love of God. Holiness is not a wild fire that burns out as quickly as it ignited. Rather, it is a small but steady flame; unceasing in its intensity and constant in its light.

Seven Practical Tips
The following are a few points of advise that one might follow during the discernment process.

1. Take action. Religious communities welcome discerning guests to stay with them. Make arrangements to go visit certain communities for a short period of time (perhaps 4-6 days). They will provide you with free food, shelter, water, shower, bathroom - in short, everything you need. All you need to bring is yourself, changes of clothes, and toiletries.
2. Repeat #1. If a man were to approach marriage in the same way that some people approach discerning religious life, then he would remain single all his life. He might read books about relationships, or research dating on the internet, but would never actually spend time with the woman he is to court, to get to know her personality, to see whether she is to be his future wife. In much the same way, discerning religious life requires more than reading or conducting research on the internet. The more exposure one has to religious communities, the better position they will be in to make an informed decision. At the very least, a person should grant the same amount of exposure to discerning a religious vocation, as was granted to past relationships.
3. Consecrate yourself to the Blessed Virgin Mary, and submit yourself to her Maternal care. Saint Louis De Montfort stated that with Mary, a soul can quickly attain the highest degrees of perfection. Ask the Blessed Virgin to take you by the hand on the path that brings the greatest glory to her Son. And do not be surprised when She does.
4. Avoid relationships with those of the opposite gender. At the very least, give primacy of place to time spent discerning religious life. Give the respect due to the higher calling. If God wants you to be married, then He will send the right person in due time, and you can be sure that it was His will, and not your own.
5. Frequent the Sacraments. Go to confession often, and to daily Mass if possible. Also spend an hour in Eucharistic Adoration daily, if possible. It is unimaginable how many graces God grants a soul through Eucharistic Adoration.
6. Find a competent spiritual director, if at all possible. Do not trust your feelings, but allow God to direct you under the direction of a wise and learned priest.
7. Remember that there is no commitment. Even if you were to formally enter a community as a postulant, you do not take perpetual vows until 4-6 years into religious life. The postulancy and novitiate periods are considered times of ongoing discernment, and a person is free to leave at any point if they feel God calling them elsewhere.

To Whom Much is Given, Much will be Expected
As a final note, remember always that if God has favored a soul with many graces, much will be expected of that soul. This should in no way increase one's pride, however. On the contrary, it should humble the soul even more, for being favored in this way apart from any merit of its own (thus the harsher it will be judged). Let us look with ourselves to see whether we were granted such grace, despite our unworthiness;

• To be part of His Church. To have continual access to Our Eucharistic Lord, and to commune with Him regularly.
• To have been born into a loving family, who provided and sacrificed for us throughout our lives.
• To have somehow avoided great risks, or walked through many valleys, without getting harmed (as if something outside of ourselves were protecting us)
• To be relatively well adjusted, level headed, moderate
• To already posses certain virtues, such as prudence, temperance, or fortitude.
• To desire the good of others and the salvation of souls
• To have an aversion towards sin, or at least posses a profound desire to conquer one's affection for sin.
• To love God to the point that our lives are defined by Him; we stand or fall by Him. To desire divine union.

Padre Pio, Secrets of a Soul, p. 51
"My soul is spurred on by the liveliest gratitude to attest that the Lord grants such grace to my soul without my meriting it. Far be it for me to consider myself superior to other souls for this reason. On the contrary, I believe that of all the people in the world, I am the one who serves the Lord least, and since the Lord gave such clarity to my soul through this grace, I acknowledge myself to be more obliged than any other soul to serve and love the Creator. For my soul, every minute of imperfection I commit is a sword of sorrow that pierces my heart."

Davide A. Bianchini, Contact